The Highs and Lows (and the lows that are actually highs)

So you know how when you put something off for one reason or another and suddenly you are staring at a daunting pile of lots to do?  And you know how you feel like it’s such a big pile that you don’t even want to start?  And that just makes it even harder to start…

Welcome to the life of a blogger, Andrew!  We have been without internet in our house for somewhere around 2 weeks, and because of this, I’ve put off writing a new blog post.  Unfortunately, each day adds more material to my arsenal of thoughts that I want to share, and at this point, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that if I don’t just write something about the major happenings since my last post, it simply won’t happen at all.  So please enjoy as I try to remember anything from the past few weeks!

Christmas was a bit sad because I missed people back home, but New Year’s Eve made up for it completely.  Becky, Steffi, and I invited friends up to the house for the evening.  We made pizzas, played games, watched television, and engaged in some merry chitchat.  And then the fun started.  We moved from the house to the cottage to watch fireworks from the balcony overlooking Belfast.  There was no great display of fireworks or anything, just some small ones bursting here and there, but it was really fun to stand out on the balcony with friends and hearing the ooh’s and ahh’s as we watched bursts of light pop up all over the city.  Awhile later, we found ourselves sitting inside listening to Jonny play guitar, and suddenly, the mood turned.  We sat around the room, and for no reason in particular, we began singing praise songs together.  Have you ever been in a moment where you consciously think to yourself “things couldn’t be any better?”  I was the happiest, most content and at peace that I have been in recent memory, and I wouldn’t have minded if I didn’t sleep at all that night.  And I think that if we hadn’t run out of songs that we knew, we would have continued to sunrise.  It brings a smile to my face just to remember the night.  

Then it was back to work a day later, and to be honest, I was happy to be back to work.  After a week and a half, I was missing seeing the boys and girls.  Things returned to a normal routine for the most part, and the children were as silly and fun and difficult as always.  One night, one of the afterschool boys sitting next to me during snack time suddenly leaned over to me and wiped his buttery face right on my shoulder and then turned back to the others without so much as a thought that this was out of the ordinary.  I would have paid to see the surprise on my face.  Another night, I was driving one of the buses, and we drove over a section of road which vibrated the whole vehicle.  One boy exclaimed, “The bus is tickling my tummy!”  Man, I love these kids!

How else do I know I love these kids?  Because one group of them leaves us at the end of this week and that makes me sad.  After four and a half months of being here, I have grown extremely close to many of them, and knowing that I won’t be able to see them after this week breaks my heart.  They are my friends as much as the people from NYE are my friends.  It’s even harder knowing that many of them need a place like Quaker Cottage to give them a break from life’s hardships.  

 

[Time out - Everything I wrote before this break was written several days ago - Time in]  

We just had our first leaving party.  I’m a bit gutted to be perfectly honest.  I have kind of been dreading this evening because I didn’t want to think about saying goodbye to one boy in particular.  He and I made this connection that I didn’t really have with anyone else.  I could go on describing how great he was and how much his friendship meant and how I know he really looked up to me, but I don’t feel up to it at the moment.  All I will say is that I had to hold back tears at least four times throughout the evening.  Oh, and we also said goodbye to four other children tonight, each of whom I’ll miss loads for separate reasons.  *sigh…  Two more days of saying goodbye to the rest of this group.

I guess I’m pretty sad about saying goodbye, but you know what?  I’m actually really happy that I’m feeling sad.  That must mean that I’m doing my job.  I’m here to love these kids, and if I feel like this, then I really do.  

(There, see! I’m happy, so please don’t worry about me!)

This picture is not me. It's from Google. Because we are not allowed to share images of the children from Quaker Cottage, it's purpose is to help you visualize the children we said goodbye to and the feelings that were expressed.

Holiday Update

The past week has been a mishmash of emotions for me. I can officially say that I’ve reached the homesick stage of my year away. Perhaps it will pass quickly once the holidays are all finished with, but for now, I definitely miss my family and friends. On the bright side, I’ve been receiving cards from people and churches back home for the past two weeks. It’s a wonderful feeling to receive a card in the mail. Many of the cards are from people I don’t know, but I imagine this is what a soldier feels like when he/she receives cards from random children. It warms me up a bit knowing that people from Iowa, W. Virginia, Ohio, Pennsylvania, and all over took the time to send a few words to me. 

We have continued working on our 8000 piece puzzle, and it still has a LONG way to go. When we first started it over a month ago, I thought that we could finish it by Christmas. Not to toot my own horn (ok, yes it is), but I happen to be a very good puzzler. For that reason, I figured it could be done. My thinking was that a 2000 piece puzzle takes me less than a week, so 8000 pieces should take 4 times that long. Wrong… The sorting of pieces from the massive pile adds an exponential increase in time. I’ll keep the updates coming. 

Steffi, Becky, and I visited Dublin for a few days prior to Christmas. This trip made me realize that I am not a city vacationer. I would much rather spend a couple days hiking or camping than walking around a city looking in museums and at architecture. However, I do still enjoy cities, just not as much as some people. For me, Dublin was a bit of a letdown. I’m not sure if it was because it’s a difficult place to visit when on a tight budget or if we just didn’t know what to look for, but I wasn’t all that impressed. We did see St. Patrick’s Cathedral and the Dublin Castle which were both pretty neat, and for a bit of craic, we visited a pub to listen to some traditional Irish music. Our original intent was to visit the Christmas market in Dublin during our first day there, but once we arrived, it became clear that it wasn’t going to happen. The market was in the courtyard of Dublin Castle, and as we entered the courtyard, we saw a large Christmas tree and two stalls at the far end. For whatever reason, all of the other stalls had gone home. Oh well! I think the most exciting thing for me in Dublin was my ability to find coins everywhere. I often find and pick up coins in the street, but this was ridiculous. I found upwards of 25-30 coins in under 2½ days.  Sweet.

On Christmas day, the three of us had dinner with L’arche Belfast volunteers. It was fun meeting and chatting with new people, and I discovered something about myself while there. Whenever I am at gatherings where there are children present, I naturally gravitate toward those kids. So at this dinner, there were 21 adults sitting, eating, and talking away, but there were also three children present. At one point in the evening, I discovered that I had just spent the past half hour playing a game with a 5 year-old. Even if I’m not with the kids, I’m thinking, “Man, I really wish I could swing on the swing set with them.” It’s not that I don’t enjoy being with adults. I do, but sometimes the conversations bore me. What does that say about me? Am I not mature enough to sit and have an intelligent conversation with adults? Well, obviously I can do it, but sometimes I’d rather not. Do I relate better to kids than adults? Maybe so. I’m in the process of figuring out if this leans toward being more of a good thing or a bad thing.

And one last random thought before I sign off. Growing up, I always thought that adults were super smart. To me, it seemed as though they always knew what to do and how to do it. Now that I am an adult, I realize that this was not the case. I am just as clueless now as I was back then, and most everybody around me is just trying to figure it out along the way like me.

Santa Comes Up the Mountain

There is something to be said about the magic of Santa Claus. I like the way it is portrayed in The Polar Express. In the story, a young boy travels to the North Pole and is picked by Santa to receive the first gift of Christmas. Knowing that he can choose anything at all, he asks for one bell from one of the reindeer's harnesses. When the boy rings the bell, both he and his sister marvel at the beautiful sound. His parents, however, are unable to hear the bell and remark that it must be broken. The story then closes with this famous line:

“At one time, most of my friends could hear the bell, but as years passed, it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I've grown old, the bell still rings for me, as it does for all who truly believe.”

I don’t remember a time in my life that I believed in Santa. He just wasn’t a part of my childhood. My parents never tried to convince me that Santa was real, but they never told me he wasn’t either. I guess that I decided for myself to believe in more than a rosy-cheeked man climbing down our chimney. 

And for a long time, I thought that Santa was a silly invention to keep children from misbehaving around Christmas time. I mean, let’s be honest. That’s exactly what the Naughty & Nice List is for, isn’t it? 

Yet, I finally realized that there’s a bit more to it than that. I spent the last three weeks talking with children about Christmas and Santa and what they want for presents and la dee dah dee dah, and even for the kids who are old enough to know that Santa doesn’t exist, there is still a glimmer of hope behind their eyes that maybe he does. It was actually an amazing thing to see. They were studying our Santa, trying to pick up on any clues that confirmed it wasn’t the real Santa. But for the younger kids, the glimmer in the eye is more of a supernova. For these children, Santa brought more than presents. He brought them imagination. He brought hope and laughter, and he brought a belief in magic and wonderment that can throw off the veil of the problems at school or at home. I don’t know. Maybe their gleaming eyes really do just shine for the presents. Or maybe, just maybe, the bell really is ringing. 

A Very Quaker Christmas

Hello again!

'Tis the season of merriment and joy, giving and receiving, love and laughter, and the all-important holiday food!  Pull your stretchy pants out of the dresser.  You'll be needing them soon. 

I heard someone say recently that you know Halloween is near when you start to see Christmas decorations.  This is entirely the case in Belfast.  I started to see Christmas decorations in windows just after Halloween.  More and more have been put up since then, but because they do not celebrate Thanksgiving here, it has pretty much been the Christmas season since the beginning of November.  At Quaker Cottage, our Christmas excitement just started this past week.  We've been putting up paper chains, wearing Santa hats, and singing Christmas songs all week.  The afterschoolers all built gingerbread houses and decorated Christmas cookies during the week.  Some of the gingerbread houses were fantastic.  One girl even added a mailbox.  Others (like mine) crumbled in.  But you know what?  I think it's easier to eat a destroyed gingerbread house than a pristine one.  Nobody wants to wreck something that took so long and looks so nice!  That's my opinion, but not necessarily the same one as the little brothers and sisters who saw loads of candy stuck to houses when they were brought home. 

The Christmas festivities continue next week with trips to the Christmas Market in Belfast City Center each day.  I'm not going to lie.  Taking these kids to the city and walking around in crowds with them makes me a bit nervous.  Who knows when one will decide to take off running.  We'll see how that turns out.  And then the following week is packed with parties.  Six Christmas parties to be exact, and I'm thinking that I'll have to play Santa for at least two of them.  The last time I remember being Santa was in an elementary school play or music concert of some sort.  For whatever reason, I remember having a solo for one of the songs and then I danced in front of the entire crowd.  But of course, the hyper little child that I was thought that a good alternative to dancing was laying on my side and spinning in circles on the floor.  I don't know.  Maybe that was dream...

What else has happened since my last post?

• It was super windy one day.  Like blowing down power lines windy.  Like make a lake look like the ocean windy.  We were out on a bus run, and as I step out of the bus to head to one family's door, something big smacks into my back.  As I shout out, I see a large bin lid flying away.  The wind had actually lifted up a bin lid and chucked it at me.  The people watching from the bus got a good laugh from that.
• I received my first ever mistletoe kiss this week.  My supervisor had put some up in the playroom, and without thinking, I stood underneath it.  As soon as one of the mums walked near me, she pointed it out and quick as lightning that mum planted a kiss right on my cheek.  There was no avoiding it.  
• On Friday, one of the children was having an extremely bad day.  Steffi, Becky, and I each walked out of work that day with tales of his attacks.  Becky nearly had her earrings ripped out and nose pulled off.  I received a strong slap to the face, but Steffi won the day with the teeth marks from a bite that are still visible two days later.
• Progress on the 8000 piece puzzle has slowed to a crawl.  We have finished all of the areas that are easy to do, but that was only about 1/4 of the entire puzzle, if that.  The goal to finish it by Christmas will not be happening.  

There is a commercial playing here that we at work have decided shows an accurate depiction of one of our kids.  Right around the 20 second mark, a boy starts dancing and repeating the words "I fell asleep, and now it's Christmas day."  It's that type of silliness and excitement that we get to see every week. 

Meatloaf and Marriage

What a busy/stressful/exciting/strange week I've had.  A week ago today, we said goodbye to one of my housemates and a fellow BVSer, Sam.  She finished her two years of service to Quaker Cottage and has impacted the lives of hundreds of young boys and girls.  She has been a part of my Quaker Cottage experience, so for her to be gone now feels like losing more than just a housemate.  I am incredibly thankful that I had the opportunity to learn from her.  She truly understands what Quaker Cottage is all about.  Outside of work, she provided me with a smooth transition when I first arrived.  Because of her, Eva, and Steffi, I never felt alone or afraid to be me.  For these things and more, thank you, Sam.

A week and a day ago today, we welcomed Becky, a new BVSer, to Quaker Cottage.  Whenever someone leaves or arrives, the house changes.  Everybody brings their own vibe to mix, and it has been interesting seeing the ways things have changed in just the first week.  We no longer have Buffy marathons, but we now have an 8000 piece puzzle in the works.  Yes. 8-0-0-0.  Looking at the masses of pieces all over our living room is seriously daunting.  It should be a fun year!

This week also brought Cooking Week Round 2.  This was my first cooking week exclusively by myself, and I would lying if I said I wasn't nervous.  I wanted to cook something fairly easy, and after much deliberation, I decided to go with meatloaf.  My supervisor had been attempting for a long time to get one of us American volunteers to cook meatloaf, and for whatever reason, no one had.  It seems like many people here have never had meatloaf, so even though it's meatloaf, it was an absolute hit with the mums.  No exaggeration!  They loved it!  Each day, I received compliments from them on how good it was or requests for the recipe.  However, the highlight of the week came when I received my first marriage proposal.  To be honest, I didn't even realize what had transpired until about 10 minutes after the conversation had taken place.  The conversation went something like this:

Mum: "That was a delicious meal. You would make a great husband."
Me: "Oh, thanks! It was a pleasure to make it for you!"
Mum: "Do you fancy getting married?"
Me: "Well, hopefully someday, but I'm not looking for that at the moment."

Can you see how in the moment I thought she had simply been asking if I wanted to get married someday?  Thank goodness I answered the way that I did!  Think about how things would have continued had I responded with "I would love to get married" or anything of that nature...

But that's not the end of it.  The following day, I learned of a second admirer.  This time, the mum was a bit more subtle and simply asked if I wanted to go to the cinema with her.  Although I liked her approach more than the previous, I had to tastefully decline.

So besides meatloaf and marriage, a few other surprises and funny moments popped up this week.  On Wednesday, for an unknown reason, the power went out for our area on the mountain at around 11:30am.  I had just finished preparing lunch, so I lucked out there.  Unfortunately, we had no idea when the power would come back on.  Our evening afterschool group wouldn't be able to come up to Quakers if the building was cold and dark, so we decided to make a trip to Belfast Castle and play games in the garden.  It was a pretty chilly night that night, and I wasn't really looking forward to going back home to a house that is cold even when the heat is on.  We do have a fire stove though, so Becky and I popped in some coal and sat with candles burning in the one warm room we had.  The power didn't come back on until 5:00am the following morning.  That was 15ish hours of no heat besides the fire we lit.  Thank goodness for lots of blankets!

The award for funniest moment of the week goes to one of the bus runs.  I was up front driving, and one of the boys we picked up was sitting behind me.  We were chatting some when out of the blue he asks, "Are you Jesus?"  Now, this could have been a really cool moment where he goes on to explain that the reason he thinks this is because of how I am kind and loving to everyone, but no.  His reason?  "Because you have Jesus coins."  .......huh?  What are Jesus coins?  I still don't know.  It was a bit scary though since I really did have a pocket full of coins, and he had no reason to know that.  Anyway, now I'm Jesus and a lady's man. 

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of joining a group of young Quaker Friends for a Thanksgiving meal.  I'm an ocean away, but I still got a taste of home for Thanksgiving.  How great it is to have a family amongst (mostly) strangers!

Miscellany

At the moment, I have a lot of random things playing around in my head.  Some of them are deep, and I'll be saving those for when I have more time to write.  The rest is mostly silly stuff that I've seen or experienced the past few days.

Random Item #1:
I suppose this isn't the best thing to be known for, but there is some truth to it.  I've been ragged on and teased about my driving many times since I've been here.  (It's not because I'm a poor driver. I want to set that straight.)  Some of the incidents you know already (the petrol fiasco, parking ticket), but most of it comes from my inability to learn the roads around Belfast.  I've never been all that great with directions and such.  That's what a GPS is for, right?  Well, when picking up the mums and children, we have to drive all over the place.  I've been here just over two months, and I'm just now beginning to learn how to get to
the right houses.  I blame part of it on the poorly placed street signs (if they're there at all) and on the fact that streets in certain areas all have the same name (Oldpark Ave, Oldpark Road, Oldpark Street, etc).  For the most part though, it's mostly that I can't remember all of it yet.

One day, one of the buses went to pick up "M," a 7 year-old boy, but was pretty late getting there due to traffic.  After apologizing to him for being late, he says, "Yeah. Sometimes when Andrew takes a wrong turn we can be late too."  I wasn't even on the bus that day! In fact, he hadn't seen me in at least a week.  Yet, he still knows that I have a reputation for getting lost... 

However, I do need to mention that "M" is the same boy who asked one of my coworkers if they wanted to see his pants (underwear).  Upon telling him that she didn't really want to see his pants, "M" says "Here look!" and pulls down his trousers anyway.  He is also the same boy who decided that he was going to change into a new Halloween costume in the middle of our afterschool program...while everyone else was in the room...and wearing nothing but his skivvies underneath...twice.  (And it would have been more if we hadn't stopped him.)

But that's not the only time one of the children has brought up my driving.  Just today a boy asked me, "Why do you drive so slowly?"  Well, first of all kiddo, I'm driving a massive bus on these tiny streets.  Second, I don't know where I'm going, and third, it's rush hour.  

Random Item #2:
Did you know that Oscar the Grouch used to be orange instead of green?  Whaaaat!

Random Item #3:
The most fulfilling part of this job is obviously working with the children, but it doesn't always feel this way.  There are times when children drive me up the wall.  Most of the time, though, things are pretty settled, and everybody is enjoying themselves.  Yes, this is nice, but the truly great feelings come when one of the children suddenly acknowledges how much you are appreciated.  For example, Sam, one of my fellow volunteers, will be leaving us on Saturday, so she has been saying goodbye to everyone.  As she said goodbye to one boy tonight, he said that he was really going to miss her, and I could absolutely tell by the way he said it that he meant it.  There have been a couple of moments like this for me too.  These moments are the reason I'm here.  They inspire me to continue working for these children because I am making an impact.  Quakers gives these children a break from the harsh reality they live in and an opportunity to just be happy, playful, and loved.  Most of the time, I won't see the impact I've made, but every now and then they give me the gift of knowing what I mean to them.

Random Item #4:
One of the babies on Monday had a cold.  Never before have I seen snot bubbles of the caliber he was blowing out.  Actually, I don't know if I've ever even seen a snot bubble in real life.  It was amazing!  I almost didn't want to wipe his nose.

Random Item #5:
Feel the nostalgia!

Guilty Pleasures

We all have our guilty pleasures.  Some people melt for chocolate.  Others are hot for soaking in the sun.  And still others nerd out for comics and superheroes.  Then there's me.

Whenever I walk past a Yankee Candle shop, I always feel a tug to wander in and sniff about.  I absolutely love it!  So many smells!  My favorite from today's visit?  Cranberry Ice.  Mmmmm!  There are always new nose flavors to experience.  I can always tell which scents my mom would choose.  (It's almost time for those candles with the spice and cinnamon scents.)  It's so much fun to smell the candle and try to guess what scent it is. 

"I smell lemon. Or is that orange?  It's definitely something citrusy." 

However, this was the first time that I felt that the names of the candles were just getting lazy.  What is the difference between Clean Cotton, Soft Blanket, Fresh Linen, and Fluffy Towels? Well, I'll tell you! Soft Blanket is "wrapped in sweet dreams...a lullaby of clean citrus, luxurious vanilla, and warm amber" whereas Fluffy Towels is "the fresh scent of clean towels warm from the dryer with notes of lemon, apple, lavender, and lily."  And what in the world is Turquoise Sky?

BUT WHO CARES! It all smells so good! You hit a literal wall of aromas upon entering the shop.  The smells punch me in the nose and keep me there until I can't smell anything anymore.  Ahh...I love it!


On a side note, I have been craving a Dairy Queen Blizzard for weeks now.  This is even my second time mentioning the delicious frozen treat in just 6 posts.  Sadly, I have another 10 months before this craving is satisfied.